“I’m sorry, I’m pretty certain that’s cancer.”

We heard those words a year ago today. Received on a Friday from the radiologist after a diagnostic mammogram. That day I started on the path in, like following the whorl of a snail shell. Me and cancer, no longer just passing each other, but now walking together…or more so, cancer charging ahead and me trying to keep up.

A few months later I found myself in a labyrinth; a large dirt and stone spiral, like a giant earth snail shell, spread flat before me. At the center was a tree. I walked in, meditating on what I now knew was coming…a long, slow walk through treatment. One I would have to do alone as the only one inhabiting this body.

Now I sometimes imagine myself walking out from that labyrinth. Treatment is almost over, my breast is gone and so is (I hope) the cancer. But am I ever all the way out?

Then I see a snail. Maybe we are always on that spiral, just with different companions. Slowly going in and out of center…and then starting again. 

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4 thoughts on “Snail – VI: Remember

  1. Daisye, your post makes me think of T.S. Elliott

    ‘Because I know that time is always time
    And place is always and only place
    And what is actual is actual only for one time
    And only for one place
    I rejoice that things are as they are and
    I renounce the blessed face
    And renounce the voice
    Because I cannot hope to turn again
    Consequently I rejoice, having to construct something
    Upon which to rejoice’

    Send you love always, Paula

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love all of your posts but this one is particularly wise. Spiritual growth can be the gift of a challenging time. You have been given that invaluable gift. Thank you for writing.

    Liked by 1 person

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